Banned!

11:00 AM is playtime in Winkie's school. And I know he won't be playing today. Why? Because he will not be allowed to. Why? Because I have forbidden it. Just for today. Why? Its a long story.

He refused to drink his milk or have a proper breakfast this morning. And I kept warning him that he won't be strong enough to play in school if he doesn't get his energy fix in the morning. He went ahead and called my bluff. And now there are consequences to that. Sounds harsh doesn't it? Yes, it is.

But its not the first time its happened. He's an extremely fussy eater. Even at close to 4 years of age, he needs distraction and entertainment to eat a decent meal. And I've had it with that. If a child can eat beautifully in school finishing his entire lunch box, why can't he do the same at home? This is how I've always felt, but the anxious mother in me would take over and I'd put his health as a priority before his eating independence and help him finish the meal. And thus it would go on. Some days were ok, where he ate around 75% by himself before submitting to us, but most days are not ok.

And I'm the kind of mother who can do everything else for my child except the feeding bit. I don't have the patience to endure it beyond 15 min at a stretch. And I just cannot stand picky eating. You eat to quell your hunger and you eat to maintain your health. Any pickiness above and beyond that to satisfy the taste buds is sheer over-indulgence in my opinion. And I believe in instilling these sort of food values starts early. Which is what I am trying to do. And that doesn't always go down well on my strong rooted Winkie. We have raging battles over this, where I am shrieking at him in the highest pitch and he remains unmoved.

I long for him to eat a full meal on his own at home. I long for him to pester me in the kitchen asking when he can eat. I long to hear from his lips that he is hungry. I long for him to smile when he sits down to eat. I long for him to say....Wow Amma...this is yummy!

Coming back to the present, there was another instance in which he refused breakfast and I had told his teacher that he'd be better off not playing that day. She respected that and when playtime rolled around, she called me on the phone and had him seek my permission for it. That day I relented, thinking that would have driven the point home. For one or two days after that, it seemed to have made a difference and then we came back to square one.

Today was once again the last straw. To be fair to myself, I gave him ample chances to make up for things and redeem his position, but he didn't take me up on it. So things got decided. He would have missed playtime today. He would have stood next to his teacher and watched on while his friends played on the swings and ran around chasing each other. I do feel very bad about it, but I care too much about the longer term to worry about this little incident. I hope I've put the right foot forward. Let's see how it goes.

[This post will be updated once I learn what happened in school today. Can't wait to find out. I wonder how I shall be greeted by the little guy when I see him. Guess this effectively rules out any Mother's Day specials for me! ;)]

Update : Well...I went. I saw. And there's absolutely no question of having conquered, because he did not finish his lunch. And the minute he saw me, big large droplets tumbled from beneath his long lashes. And this is the look he sports everytime I look his way, or say a kind word or offer a hug.

There's now a new agenda in action for the next 72 hours. No ask, no get. So the ball is now is his court...