The age of change..

The age of change is well and truly upon us. And it starts with a question and answer, tinged with innocence but ringing with curiosity, both mine and his. The question I ask innocently, the answer belying his underlying curiosity. And while my curiosity is satisfied, the innocence in the openness and earnestness of the answer, is equally satisfying. Its the one thing that comforts when faced the immediate maelstrom of emotions that this exchange evokes within.

We look at him more closely, the smile with which I asked the question never leaving our faces. In that I am proud. We did good. We masked the feelings and doubts and questions, churning uncomfortably inside and just presented a blank and smooth exterior...the one that doesn't seem to judge, doesn't flinch in the face of something we are clueless about dealing. It makes him remove the shield of his hand from his covered face, and look back into our eyes, as he faces the aftermath of his silly secret. We have accepted his feelings, his thoughts, without question, while exchanging quizzical stares amongst ourselves, which seems to say....do you know where this came from? No...do you? I cannot wait for that private talk that we will huddle together for. But that comes much later. It is night, and the kids need to be put to bed.

The morning has a feeling of the morning after. Thoughts come back in a more orderly fashion from the restive sleep of the night before. And without the immediate flush of emotions to confuse the perspective, we are able to think more clearly, and individually. And the conference happens soon, and as parents, we share insights. He sounds his off, I sound off mine. We agree that we are faced with yet another aspect of his growing self....yet another milestone, only it seems so significant when pitted against his 5 and something self. The overriding feeling from the night before was a feeling of being unprepared to deal with this aspect of parenting. Now that feeling has thankfully subsided and a real acceptance has been born, not the masked one of our initial reactions. And with acceptance, comes that beautiful peace...that awesome spectacle of faith in life, and in the scheme of life. Its as tangible as the sense of the hand that touches the tightest knot of tension in the back of your neck after a long, hard day, easing the muscles out of their strain. You visibly melt with the care and lose yourself to the feeling....where nothing else matters, only peace, bliss...

The feverish mind now rests and in that calm induced state, the quiet introspection continues and you come away with only what you must take from it. Thankfulness, that yet another opportunity was given to adore what still hasn't changed, to firmly root oneself to these sweet glory days where innocence still reigns with supremacy over curiosity; thankfulness for the realisation that the dialogue must be open and flowing whenever possible, that communication and understanding is essential; recognising that what came before this was perhaps a small corner of the parenting panorama, that what comes henceforth will require every ounce of creativity and love that one can muster; and a growing need to a smile and laughter...to celebrate the age of change, tinged as it is with innocence, ringing as it is with curiosity...it is still beautiful!