Friday, March 06, 2009

Draw it out!

This is a drawing that Winkie did when he was angry. Very angry. Great big angry gashes across the page in circular motion helped him expend some of that negative energy building inside, and when he was emptied, what started off as morose, unhappy expressions turned into downright goofy, happy ones. All in a space of 2 minutes. What a metamorphosis huh??? I agree. And I wouldn't have known to give him a paper and pen to express himself if I hadn't read the book. At first, I had tried accepting his feelings with those simple monosyllabic replies, but that only seemed to incite him further. He seemed to want more of a reaction from me. Then suddenly this idea struck and I took a chance. He looked puzzled with the invitation to draw...and threw me a suspicious look, but I looked dead earnest. And he said...yes, he would like to draw and show me HOW angry he was!

I also invited him to draw how his face would have looked so angry, and he did. And in just under 30 seconds, his countenance calmed, his breathing became more regular and the muscles on his face relaxed, and struggle as he did, he could not stop that smile from escaping. Pretty soon, he openly acknowledged it and smiley faces began to appear on paper too. And we were both laughing together like a merry lot, and it didn't seem like only minutes before, we had a potential disaster waiting to happen.

But of course, the success of each technique is not set in stone. What might work today, is bound to flop miserably tomorrow, and we once again have to rely on our own creative instincts to diffuse an intense situation. But while it works, what it does achieve, in addition to effective result, is that it creates more trust and understanding. Smiles that are shared deepen the goodwill and a value of a light moment is never to be underestimated, right? :) For me, it just gave me some faith as a mother. I felt more capable when my son responded to me. I felt wonderful about keeping my dignity and grace intact, which is usually the first thing to go in a confrontation, at least in my case!

[Crossposted at DMC!]

9 comments:

Nino's Mum said... Best Blogger Tips

:) that's some positive healing therapy!
Nino's too young to do this, but I've worked with him to 'express' his angst a lot, because he used to pick up whatever comes in his hands and throw when he used to get very angry, still does that sometimes. I mostly taught him to used some 'adjectives and nouns', but the one that he especially loved was 'what colour am I/what colour was my day.' A small notepad, and a bunch of pencil colours gave him pretty much the same joy.

Tharini said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow NM. You have a natural flair for thinking out of the box. Colour therapy sounds fun and effective. Very nice!

SBora said... Best Blogger Tips

this is indeed a great idea..should try it out with my 5 year old.

Fred Smilek said... Best Blogger Tips

This was a great idea.

Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com

Reveda said... Best Blogger Tips

In fact, that reminds me of my CEO who used to say- if you are angry with someone write everthing that u think negative about him on a piece of paper, fold it 4-5 times and burn it......all negativity will be out of the system...you should treasure it.....your blog is a nice read...

In fact of all the kid blogs I have frequented tonight, I can say with pride that I am the odd one out- a daddyblogger....with a difference that I am only lending my words to my 4 month old (world's youngest blogger perhaps.......lol); in order to ensure that my own thought process doesnt mar her blog's originality i decided to startr my own blog....do let me know your views on the blog of the 4 month old....
http://reveda.blogspot.com/

mine is http://myheartfeltmusings.blogspot.com/

I think I should also ask my wife to join that DesiMom's club....courtesy my daughter's blog......I will do the panchayat type raj then.....remember a sarpanch making his wife stand up for an election on a seat reserved for a women.....same way can use my wife to join your club as you gals won't let a daddyblogger join your group....http://desimomzclub.blogspot.com.....thanks

SUR NOTES said... Best Blogger Tips

lovely tharini.

please do hold onto the drawing...

Monika said... Best Blogger Tips

great tip.... loved the technique... would be useful in a couple of years on my little one

The Inquisitive Akka said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh that reminds me so much of what I used to do when I was a kid!Whenever I was angry with my mother I would scribble on a piece of paper and then I would give it to her telling her it was a gift from me. I would then wait for her reaction. She never reacted angrily thouggh :) And I just calmed down after that.

Fred Smilek said... Best Blogger Tips

Precious drawing!

Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com

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