A fresh shot of energy!

We just got back last night from what we deem to be a very smooth road trip and a wonderful, invigorating seminar. There was information, insights, ideas, role plays, group exercises, presentations and plenty of interaction. And I cannot think of a better way to have spent the day without the kids. Rita and Robert Bruce are a very charming and adorable couple. And when she talks, she carries you right into her words, feelings, convictions. It comes straight from the heart and you are pierced with it.

You may wonder what they said that makes me feel this way. Well, it wasn't anything totally radical or never before heard. They were things that I knew deep inside, and you know deep inside, and we are all well aware of. Yet, when it comes from a couple who have lived through the experience of raising 4 kids, during the age of the television boom, and through drugs and alcoholism and divorce and you name it, you tend it see it in a new light. It carries a little more weight than before and strikes you in a way that can be wholly constructive. Some of the aspects of their talk that really impacted me, even thought I knew it, deep inside, were...

1. Parents are responsible for moulding the character of their children. We are r.e.s.p.o.n.s.i.b.l.e.

2. We are living in an age that is wholly different from that of our parents and grandparents. We are up against SO MANY INFLUENCES that can be negative to our children and our parenting strategies have to take stock of all those things. And no wonder, we are so stressed about it, and second guessing ourselves all the time, and reading all the books out there.

3. This is not a point that all of us will like, and I must admit, it hit me too....but, it emphasises that a mother's primary duty is to stay at home to raise her kids, with full and complete involvement. This is something, I will have to chew on a lot more in the days to come, and soul search a little. And this, coming at a point, where I was contemplating switching to longer hours at work, due to the possibility of career growth. I don't see myself giving up the job I have, but it is going to make me revisit all the other ways in which I manage my time, so I can be better available for all the needs of my boys, not so they can thank me at the end of 20 years, but so I can go to bed every night, tired and exhausted and fully content that I have done my duty.

4. Do not feed energy to negative behaviour from the kids. At moments like these, actions speak louder than words.

5. Discipline is Love. Its not something negative, or punitive...it is the very heart of Love. And so, the way it is doled out has to also resonate with that Love and good intention. (read : don't lose your temper). And this is just the very essence of parenting.

But more than all these little bullet points, what I learned is that it is all within me. Again, this is not something I didn't already know, for I have espoused that enough times here already, haven't I? God is within me, and so are His words of wisdom. I need to get better at tapping into this Source, more often, and all the time. I must remember and reflect in the way He parents me, and there I have the ready standard of how to be a parent to my children.

I didn't go in to this seminar and walk out, a person transformed. But I did I come away with abounding positive energy, a fresher perspective and with the full joy and pleasure of being a mother. I had been missing this feeling in me for a long time. Everything relating to the boys had become a chore, another thing to do in the string of daily jobs, before the clock struck 9:00 at night. A mechanical nature overtook the magic and the true joy. Yeah sure, from time to time, I took a good picture of a moment not to be missed and captured the essence of our bonds in a few words on this space, but that pulsing, throbbing feeling of just wanting to see them again, to scoop them in my arms, cover their faces with kisses and just be with them and their little talk....that was what I came away with. It so precious, isn't it?

And besides all the parenting related issues, it was wonderful to interact with a bunch of strangers with kids from preschool to college, all facing the exact same thing. Being in that room together, made us a family all unto our own, and differences melted away, not into nothingness, but into the combined harmony of a lot of laughter and love for the same Form of the Divine, and intentions for our children. Experiences like this and more teach me over and over again, that there is more that unites us than what separates us. One day, we will collectively realise this, and this consciousness has already begun in earnest. The people we stayed with, the ones we spoke to during the seminar, the ones who handed us food packets for the road, the ones who marvelled at our coming all the way from Chicago, everyone was so kind and wonderful. I know it all sounds so gushy gushy, but truly...its all so much of blessings being showered. You come away with so much of goodwill in your heart.

We initially had plans to return on Sunday morning, but decided that we felt fresh enough to make the drive back right after the seminar ended at 6:00. We picked up the boys, who had done marvellously in a stranger-babysitter's house, and who looked happy and excited to see us as well. After a quick stop at Dunkin's (which is a miracle which I will save up for the next post, perhaps), for our usuals, we hit the road in earnest. One by one, myself and the boys settled back to sleep, and R kept time with the music and reached us home safe early in the morning at 1:00 AM. The bed and home was the most welcoming place after that.

The picture above was taken en route. We'd stopped by a gas station with a good view of the road, to have our dinner from the food packet we had carried back. The sun had just set, the night was drawing high, the moon was up in a clear crescent and not a star in sight (which is why I felt compelled to brushstroke my way through some of those that you see in the picture). The boys were sitting on the truck while we fed one each....Thambi by his Dad, Winkie by me. They were happy, singing, clapping and just at peace with their world and us, which is what this weekend became all about!