500 for Friendship!

I usually tend to follow chronology when I blog, as in post about things as they happen. And something very significant happened in this last 2 weeks of my life which I have yet to share. I wondered how I should do it. You have already heard me wax poetic about friendship before. And much as that is what this post is about...it is also about so much more. It is about kindness and service and the desire and the ability to extend oneself is such a way, that one is stretched, but making such a palpable difference to the life of the person who is in need...lifting the heavy burden of thoughts off of them, giving them cheer with your undivided presence, rolling back sleeves and lending a hand, in the most practical way in which it counts, sharing in a home and taking up its responsibilities as your own, leaving behind practical considerations of time for the sole purpose of landing at your doorstep to give you a smile....these are all things that step from the feeling of friendship, but is actually an expression of your own self, your deepest qualities that you have given the initiative to surface.

" I've seen and met angels wearing the disguise of ordinary people living ordinary lives. ~Tracy Chapman
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These are the things I want to write about, and at the time that it happened, I was about 4 posts away from 500. So I decided to wait, and let those thoughts simmer, understanding them better in the process, appreciating them all the more for the difference they made and now, I am ready to share them with you. This 500 is for Friendship....and for the people who rise beyond it, to a basic humanity of giving.

Barely a week had passed since my accident, and little did I knew that the wheels of thought were churning in the mind of one of my dearest friends. She had worked out days of leave and a rough plan in her head when she called me and said she could come for a couple of days paired with a weekend, to help us out. By this time, my cousin was here and I realised how good it felt to have a person in the house, helping out with everything. And here was someone offering me 4 extra days of that sunshine! So of course, I said yes. She worked out everything so quickly and used her miles to book her tickets, rented a car so we wouldn't have to bother about her transport and flew and drove over to reach here on a Wednesday night. And from the very next morning, for the next 4 days, I had the most divine coffee made fresh, the minute I stepped out of the bathroom. She ran errands, picked up groceries, took Thambi to the park for some fresh air, got me started on an embroidery project to keep my mind engaged, watched movies with me, cooked, cleaned, tended to many a baby boo boos, and colluded, with her chauffeur service, in the biggest surprise that I was to get that weekend.

It was Sunday afternoon and her last day there. We were all lounging about lazily, watching a movie, when quite unnoticed, she stood up and left the house. Close to a 1/2 hour must have passed and I did wonder in between why she wasn't still watching the movie with us, but figured maybe she had gone upstairs to pack. Winkie was playing outside with a neighbour's kid, and they kept ringing the doorbell every 10 minutes asking for water. It was around 4:30 PM and the doorbell rang again. R got up with some irritation, muttering about these thirsty kids and opened the door. I was on my bed, all propped up with my numerous cushions, looking towards the door as well, when he opened it and there was just a second's silence and he said a very surprised sounding 'Hi'! Whoever was at the door was by this time shushing him to keep quiet but the 'Hi' had escaped anyhow. I noticed it and sat up a little straighter, knowing that something was up, but wholly unprepared for the sight that was about to greet my eyes. I was definitely expecting some visitor by now, but definitely not the kind of visitor that had just flown some 2000 odd miles, landing in Chicago in a 4 hour transit, en route to another destination, using an hour of that time to land at my doorstep, while saving another hour to get back, so that one hour of that precious interim period could be spent in recharging a friendship with the vital physical presence, signing a cast for real, bearings gifts for everyone with her usual out-of-this-world thoughtfulness and leaving with her eyes speaking volumes of kindness and a word...please do not exert yourself. Please take rest so you can come and surprise me too!

Kodi's Mom leaves me utterly bereft of words to describe this occasion....one I greeted with immediate, helpless tears at so much of kindness that was coming my way. And as if her cheerful, delightfully surprising visit wasn't enough, and in spite of the fact that she was going on a weeklong holiday, she still made the time to think of our practical need of the next meal. She had packed 2 boxes of idlis for us all, the least she could do by way of food, to help our situation. Can you believe this person? Can you believe she is for real? I know she is, because I felt the warmth of her hug, and that look in her face as she bade me goodbye and the way she put a hand on my shoulder as I cried with emotion.

One of the greatest lessons I have learnt from this whole episode of my broken leg, is how to ask for help, and how to receive it gracefully. For you know....it isn't easy asking for help. I had grown very used to being extremely independent and pushing myself to the bounds of my own energy before I relied on another. I had grown to internalising everything and seeking my own inner voice for counsel before I asked anybody else for advice. I have grown very self reliant in the past few years, during this period of spiritual growth. And here I was, once again, at a point, when I needed other people. It wasn't easy at first. So many folks offered and I said yes...I will call you if I need anything...but to actually pick up the phone and say...hey...can you help me out with some food this week? Can you come over for a little while and help me with the boys this weekend? Can you give Thambi a ride?...Can you...These were difficult things to say and didn't come easily to my lips, for heavy was that feeling of being under an obligation, and transferring the burden of my work onto the shoulders of another, who wasn't duty bound to me. I cringed many a times, dreading those calls. But it got easier as I did it more and more. When people offered help, they meant it. And when you took them up on it, they were glad to play an active hand in your recuperation. It did make them feel useful. It gave them a chance to serve. And this is what I learnt to recognise. That asking for help isn't always about you. It is a good nurture for the soul rendering it. And I should be pleased to be the instrument for this seva in their lives. I should be pleased for how this would enrich their own lives, instead of focusing on the inconvenience it would cause them. Rendering help IS about some inconvenience, otherwise it is not a help. And gratitude isn't about maintaining an obligation towards them in the future. It isn't about just trying to repay them for that kindness. That kind of timely help can never be repaid, but it can certainly be given in turn to the next person who needs that of you. Isn't it?

So that is what this Post 500 is all about. It is a dedication and a thank you to all my earthly saviours. To my dear Altoid and Kodi's Mom for their personal physical touch, to all my friends and neighbour who have been dropping me food regularly, to all my friends farther away who thought enough of my situation to reach out with a personal word of concern (sometimes a simple kind how are you?, asked with the utmost sincerity, is all that you really need), to my dear pal Vidhya who provided food, company, transport and an unfailing hug everytime, to dear dear Uma who has been taking in Thambi everyday generously, taking care of his food and dropping him home every evening to make it easier on us, to my dearest Gaya who makes it a point to call me every alternate day to enquire whether I am still taking my medicines, to the wishes on Facebook and all the unfailing, cheerful, energising comments here, to all of you who take time to come and read about my life and my loves....God bless you all.