3 days into the recovery period and already so much has changed. For one, I have settled in with my feelings on all that has happened overnight. I have accepted the situation a lot better now and have watched how things are sort of falling into place on their own, which lifts a lot of the worries off of me.
My cousin is here as of yesterday (Sunday). She is here for a whole week. So the kids and food are taken care of, which is usually the biggest concern in a situation like this. Some options have been worked out for the weeks following that, which I will elaborate on as time goes by, and it looks like I may be able to manage without my mom after all. I already have an excel spreadsheet, working out how the weeks ahead are planned. Which just goes to show that I have a lot of time on my hands. :). The sprain on my right leg is feeling a lot better and using the crutches for bathroom trips isn't as hard as it initially was. Only, a new problem emerged as of yesterday compounding the issue just a little bit. I have severe sciatic pain on my right leg now...the one that is sprained, making every single twitch of the muscle an excruciatingly painful one. I dread the very idea of going to the bathroom, all over again, and nothing short of helpless yelping every few seconds and a constant chanting of His name, get me through it.
Did I tell you guys that I named both my crutches? The one on the right is called Ashes. And the left one is Sparkly. One of the biggest challenges to emerge from this accident is a psychological one. My mind fears a lot more easily now. It is ready to fear without a second thought. That I find is more crumbling than anything else. And the only way to counter that is to actively stay in the moment, accept the pain wholeheartedly and just simply be determined to get through it. Something R said really impacted me 2 days back, when I was afraid to put pressure on my right leg to get up to a standing position. He told me that my crutches were now my legs. And that I must trust them. I must believe that they will help me and place my faith in them. Why does the most profound things in the world have to be the most simple??? As always, since I had no other choice, I believed in his words and trusted my 2 standing poles. That was the point that I decided to name them. For I started taking to talking to them, asking for their help and support and thanking them for another round of successful hobbling, that it made sense to personalise the whole endeavour. :)
I am thankful for the presence of my cousin and her 2 smart, talkative girls. The sounds of their laughter and words fill the house and enliven it no end. Sathya who was previously very dull and listless, loves their company and is blooming from their attention. They all fight, laugh, talk, scream, yell, get bored and generally create a cheerful ruckus from morning to night, that I have no time to feel low or miserable. I spend a lot of time playing board games with them, so they all don't get too bored. Mancala is the present favorite, followed by rounds of Mousetrap and Chinese Checkers. :)
I cannot express how much I enjoyed reading all your words and wishes for me and my family. The way you guys worded your thoughts and your advice to me...just leapt out and made so much of solid sense that I shall definitely be following it. :) All of you lauded me for my positive outlook. And I feel the real hero of the scene too deserves such a big pat on the back. My husband has been so full of patience with all of us. A handicapped wife, a sick child, another clingy bewildered one, deadlines just around the corner, a roadtrip to make, laundry to do on the side, and just the sheer worry of the logistics of it all. I felt so sorry for him as he went about his work and mine. But thankfully, his inner voice also guides him well, as it did in this one. He was prompted to prioritise himself and taking care of us was the simple priority. So he set aside work and all thoughts of it and dedicated himself to us. It was so nice to be taken care of by him. The bed coffees were such a treat. I think I can really get used to this life! ;)
I think I shall end this update here. The painkillers I took for the sciatica is making me quite groggy and my head is a fuzzy cottonball of words. I am now calling myself the Lady in red for very obvious reasons, and filing all these posts in the Castaway Series! Oh btw, I am just 2 posts away from 500. Please write to me, you all, and tell me what you would write, if you had a chance to sign my cast! I wouldn't mind a smart haiku while you're at it! :D