I had a whole photo slideshow planned to commemorate your 2nd birthday. As it turns out, there is no means of uploading it with full clarity. A little disappointing, to be sure...but I cannot let this day go by without a small note on the blog.
We are in India now, in Pune as per plan. (Well, one little near disaster happened, which set back my plan, almost, but more about that later!). Everyone around you is amazed at how independent you are and how well you did without me for those 3 days that we were separated. You are a very welll adjusted little boy, and your 2nd birthday is almost here.
So many emotions running through me right now as I type this on the 26th, but I have just one thing to say for it....I love you very very much. I am happy you are turning 2. I am happy that I sharing this day that I almost missed because of my carelessness.
Hello folks! So this is it! We are leaving tonight. And just to give you an idea of our crazed and event-filled schedule, let me give you an idea of what the next 2 weeks (odd) are going to be like. 25th morning - Reach Mumbai. Meet up with my sister at the airport. Proceed directly to Pune, after stopping briefly at the bride's place for breakfast!
Why Pune? Bceause my grandmother lives there. Maternal. Whom I haven't seen for 8 years. Who has never laid eyes on my kids. I need to change that and this is the only chance. So Pune, it is.
25th afternoon - Reach Pune. Stay at father's brother's place, where my parents would have already arrived. Catch up, hug, kiss, smile, enjoy the jetlag.
26th - Head over to Patti's place, and spend the day with her.
27th - Quick breakfast and head to Thane. June Swan meet awaits.
28th - Catch up catch up catch up. Shop a little. Get some sleep, hopefully. (naaah!)
29th - Head to the hotel near the marriage hall. The whole jing bang family from our side would have arrived including my in-laws.
29th evening - Thambi's birthday celebration coupled with a sangeet. Our version of it.
30th - Rest day. (hopefully). There is now more family to catch up with!
31st - Beginning of wedding festivities. One religious event in the morning, one in the evening.
1st - Wedding!!! And the beginning of the happily ever after bit. Evening, reception.
2nd - Pack up, board the afternoon train. One whole bogey reserved for us. Chennai, here we come!
3rd - Reach Chennai. Settle in. Get busy again.
4th evening - Chennai reception, from our side.
5,6,7 - Manage what little family time is possible in that exhaustive and frenzied atmosphere. We leave in 7th night.
During all of this, I will not get a chance to log on and publish Thambi's birthday post...so I am hoping the scheduling feature will work well with Blogger. Just to make sure it is working, I am going to schedule this post for publishing in 8 minutes from now. Hope it works!
A couple of days ago, I was approached by a reader...to feature some information on this blog to draw attention to a particular event, called Samyukth.
This is what she had to say about it:
I volunteer with an organization called the Madras Dyslexia Association, and we have an event called Samyukth, which brings together several educators and researchers in the field, to discuss indigenous learning techniques that work in helping dylexics. This conference is open to remedial teachers, therapists, mainstream teachers, Principals, counselors and parents, students and researchers who are interested in the field. The event involves psychiatrists, special educators and mainstream teachers presenting their experience and work in the field of dyslexia.
The details of the event are listed below.
What it is : A multi-disciplinary conference on dyslexia- Samyukth on Jan 30 and Jan 31 at IIT Madras.
Why you should attend : The programme aims at discussing solutions in an Indian context and includes language acquisition processing and disorders in children with learning disability, behavior modification and social issues, efficacy of Math games, kinesiology, indigenous remedial techniques that work, the Irlen syndrome (a learning disorder associated with dyslexia), adaptations and innovations in helping children from 5-15 and the Multiple Intelligence Approach.
Who should attend : This conference is open to remedial teachers, therapists, mainstream teachers, Principals, counselors and parents, students and researchers who are interested in the field. The event involves psychiatrists, special educators and mainstream teachers presenting their experience and work in the field of dyslexia.
Who are the speakers : The event hosts speakers from across the world- Mala Nataraj, (Department of Mathematics Selwyn College, NZ), Mindy Eichorn (Special Educator from Tennesssee), Shobha Madhavan (Lecturer- Deeside College, UK) , experts on learning disability, multiple intelligence, orthography and literacy acquisition, Irlen research, and leading faculty from NIMHANS.
Contact : MDA at 044-65622462 or Subha Vaidyanathan at 98844-18327
Last word : “Early identification of children "at risk" and early intervention makes main-streaming easier”, says Lakshmi Radhakrishnan, senior consultant from Madras Dyslexia Association (MDA),” and who can be better equipped to help, than a child’s teacher?”
I am overcome by emotions that will me to write you again, another letter....to tell you what a wonderful, nurturing, caring brother you are evolving into. These are not words, loosely strung together with the choiciest adjectives to bejewel it. Every word I write here....I think about its portent intensely, and use it with a deliberate precision to convey your sweetness of being to you. Yes! You must know what a lovely person you are!
Appa has been so busy these past several weeks in rushed deadlines. And so have I, in one little project after another and this coming India trip of ours. As a result, neither of us have spent that much of time with both of you. We have not had any quality family time in a long while. But any feelings of guilt we have in this respect have been assuaged by your valiant efforts to spend time with your brother and engage him, in the most constructive way possible.
You read to him a lot. You LOVE to read to him. In fact, everyday when you come home from school, you ask for a snack, finish up, and then call him to the little sofa and read to him. Book after book, which he fetches for you. Some titles, you specify, and many he picks out on his own and you read it over and over and over again, tirelessly. He enjoys this time with you very much. In fact, when the bell rings and he hears your footsteps and your voice, he rushes excitedly to see you. You don't take much notice of him then, but you more than make up for it just 1/2 an hour later.
You love to sing to him. You sing Wheels on the bus over and over, and it is because of you that he knows all the actions to the song. Similar is the way both of you bond over If you're happy and you know it. Till date, I have hardly ever sung that song to him, and I watch in amazement as he follows perfectly, all the actions you specify for the song. Sometimes, when Appa and I are sitting at the table, sipping tea, we can hear you both, on your sofa, clapping your hands, and doing all 5! That's when we look at each other and smile, captivated by the sweetness in both your voices, by the love with which you take over him and the simple sincerity with which he follows you. And that is when we feel satisfied, mixed interminably with some of that complex guilt, that we did, surely one thing right....we gave you a little brother and we gave him a lovely companion!
You love to have him follow you everywhere...well, most of the time. You are still afraid of the dark and will not go upstairs on your own, saying you will be alone. But then you will pause and think, and after arriving at a solution, you will traipse up the stairs, little Thambi at your heels. He comes with you, because you have called him to. You call him, because having him with you lessens your fear of the dark...and diminishes your sense of aloneness.
You even take him to the bathroom with you. And while you do your thing, he sits on the stool opposite, and you proceed to instruct him in the basics of anatomy, his and yours, and which one belongs to who. Your conversations in there, muffled through the partition of wood, are like little notes of music, and utterly cute and utterly funny. That partition is there because Thambi believes in your privacy and goes on tippy toes to make sure the door is locked when you are both securely inside.
When you both are together in this manner, I hardly ever interfere. I make sure never to butt in and take away from that moment when you both are discovering companionship, but I do keep my ears open for little snippets of your wisdom and snatches of proper words that escape his mouth every now and then. And at times like these, I notice how you make it a point to only speak to him in Tamil...an honour which you have reserved solely for your little brother, since you deem it the only language he understands. If I say something to him in English you correct me and ask me to rephrase it for his benefit. You also translate some of the undecipherable words he uses, while I stare at him quizzically, because you are the only one who understands what it means.
And as I witness this complete unification of both your personalities, I am briefly reminded of the periods of adjustment , where we had to cut you some slack because of the newness of your role. I remember feelings of despair and despondency that perhaps, I was not doing enough to foster your relationship. Today, I know better. I know that the seeds of the brotherhood that you share now was sown 2 years ago. And it has taken the natural progression of time and the elements to germinate, and for that first little bud to peep out of the soil and into the world. It has taken a lot of love, tender care, reassurance and nourishment to grow taller, and for the roots to expand and establish. Over time, it has branched out, reaching in all directions, seeking the light and spreading the glow. And now, today, we finally see the blooms, out in full glory, in direct defiance of the winter outside, a complete saturation of colours, beautiful and thriving. And as the petals unfold, the gentle scents waft in the air, making the smell of home...that much more like home!
Hope is a very powerful thing. It has the power to recreate the future within our own minds, and when it reaches the hands, visions become reality. I think that is the hope we all have today. That the vision we see now in the face of a new and powerful leadership will also herald the reality that our children may swim in. Inshallah!
I was glued to cnn.com all day long. The coverage was fantastic, and even without cable tv, I could witness history unfold. I didn't think it was possible, but the inevitable tears did come when he came into the podium, and when the invocation was being given. It was a very silent feeling of being able to witness something singularly unique and unprecedented. And in these pages, I wanted to chronicle what my own little men were upto, and how this day touched their lives, so that one day, in the future that I dream of, they will know exactly what their place in it was!
Thambi watched TV with me. As I lay on the couch, the volume on in full, my little son figured something special was happening, if his mother was sprawled midmorning on the couch. And so he clambered on, onto my back, clapped whenever the people on TV clapped, tried to mouth Oh baa maaa syllable after syllable with me and generally picnicked until he dropped off to sleep.
Winkie, parallely, saw quite a lot of action in school. They painted in a little picture of their President, learnt a few facts about him, and got a little booklet of what some of the rooms in the White House looked like. It was interesting and even I picked up a few tidbits from that book! And then, just before it was time for the inaugural address, all the kids were marched into the PE hall, and together, the entire school watched and heard the momentous words. In Winkie's own words...
...we saw a lot of pictures of Barrack Obama (its so cute, the way he says his name), and everyone clapped a lot.
When asked if he enjoyed it....he said no. And why?
Because I could not go to the bathroom for 45 minutes!!!
And it is with this that I conclude, that even when destiny plays a hand in the winds of change, there are more practical considerations to note!
We've had the Karadi tales books on CDfor awhile now, but only recently has Winkie truly discovered the magic that lies in them. That hidden world of fable and fantasy, of magic and mythology brought to life by beautiful voices, mellifluous music, enchanting rhythms and fascinating sound effects. And all you have to do to be transported, is to find a corner spot on the couch, lay the book open on your lap, pop in the CD and just drift to wherever it takes you. In an instant, the millenia of years melt away, and cities with legend come into your sight, mystical figures fill you with heroic fervour and awe and the drama of the moment wraps itself around you and holds you tight. The moods are quick to change...a feeling of portentous anticipation alternated by horror, then hope...dread...playfulness...outrage...justice, victory, goodwill.
If it can have this kind of effect in me, an adult, I can just imagine how much more powerful it is for a child, who is just discovering that there is a concept of history, and that rich stories and happenings have peppered its existence. I can just imagine the kind of feelings it would evoke in him....a childish sense of outrage at the dastardly acts of evil, the feeling of strong rightfulness when good always prevails, and justice is served. That magical sense of wonder at miracles and divine acts of power and might and playfulness.
Its a beautiful world to escape into, and as I see Winkie in his spot on the couch, his eyes meeting mine sometimes but not really seeing, his entire sense of being catapulted across eons of time to a far off place....I realise that I come full circle.
P.S - The CD ends and Winkie turns to me, his expression, still a little lost from that tremendous journey he has been on, and shares some insights. For the benefit of all of us, I am presenting that crytallised thought in solid form here...
God can fight. If someone distracts everybody, God will fight with him. He can be nice too. He can fight and be nice. And he can play with everybody too.
Oh yes! I am 16 again! Honestly, its been a long time since I felt like this....so connected to the times that everyone pines for and sees only with the fondest feelings and those pinkest of rose tinted glasses. And why not!
We leave for Mumbai in 1 week, this time to attend my BIL's wedding. But for 2 days before all the festivities begin, I make a rendezvous with my best friend...my juno swan.There are no words to describe the expectation that will lead to the moment when we first see each other again. The last time we met was during my wedding, and a few months after when me and R visited her as a married couple. But, this will be the first ever time in our lives, when we will meet as mothers to 2 kids. If motherhood is momentous and friendship eternal, then these two aspects within the same person coming together to unite with that of a childhood friend at the exact same place in life...ahhhh, the possibilities!!!!
Over the past few days, I have also been reconnecting with some more old school friends...moving beyond plain superficial conversation, to a very human connection that just exudes the goodwill of being exquisitely a.l.i.v.e! There is a definite romance in the air....I can feel it, I can smell it....and I find that all of this is making me young again. In fact, every day left of this one week is robbing me a year of my age...so I think by the time I meet her, I just might be 16 again! I am hopelessly indisposed right now to write any more coherently. So let me leave you with this quote...
"Friends are the reason why even at the saddest part of my life, I smile. Why even at my confusion, I understand. Why even at betrayal, I trust. Why even in fear of pain, I love."
And oh! ..if you're wondering about the picture...that's me at 17, in the classroom, during recess, with my juno swan next to me, munching on an apple, her staple diet, in our navy blue pinafores and crisp cotton white shirts!
The snow came on hard today, as it did most of last night. I offer to take Winkie to the bus stop in the car. We are early, very early, so I switch on some music and we both look out the window at the way the snow is falling. The car hasn't quite warmed up yet, so every flake leaves a beautiful formation of crystal, before it finally succumbs to the heat and drops away. Overtaken by a moment of acute delight for nature and her variation of perfection, I angle the lens and try vainly to take a picture that captures what I see with my own eyes.
By this time, some cars line up behind me, and by the number of them, I can make out how many kids have made it to the bus stop this blizzard morning. All but 2 are here. And now, I see those remaining 2, a set of brothers, scurrying down the snowy path all buttoned up, to a little makeshift spot by a mountain of snow that would have been their stop on a regular day. The judgement is quick to rise, even before I have a chance to see it....what sort of a mother lets her kids come out by themselves on this kind of day??? But the viciousness in my thought subsides the moment I see the mother trailing along behind them. It looks like she has decided to brave the cold and enjoy the snow alongwith her sons. She smooths out an area on the ground, using her legs to clear it of all the snow, and in that little flat circle, she and her boys huddle close. Sometimes, they jump up and down together, to warm up their bodies, and smiles light their faces. Its obvious that the boys are enjoying this bit of adventure with their mother.
A sliver of envy comes into me, and I compare and contrast my safe warm shelter with their nature bound one. I settle for the warmth...but not before thinking....that perhaps, the time has come for me and Winkie to build a snowman. Its something he's been wanting to do for ages, off of the pages of craftbook and cardstock. A real live snowman with carrots for the nose! But maybe we should challenge ourselves Amma, and use grapes for the nose instead?....he says with an excited twinkle in his eyes. Maybe we should... I think.
The bus comes around and all the kids rush out to meet it. They are safely on board and goodbyes are waved. They are on their way, and I release the hand brake to be on mine. But not before taking a small drive around the community. I am curious to see how it looks in all this snow. Endless expanses of white meet the eye, punctuated by dark windows and rooftops, the landscape characterised every now and then by huge mounds of snow....the past week's bounty.
I round the curve and see my driveway straight ahead. Buddy's tire marks have left a clear twin trail in the snow. I align the wheels just so, so that we climb on to the same set of tracks and leave the rest of the snow undisturbed. And that's when it hits me....a gentle vapour of thought, probably prompted by the keen observance of life, just moments ago, which cleared all the voices in my head and left me still....that even in this, I had chosen not to wander off the beaten path!
I hear the words embarrassing moment and instantly, one single incident comes to mind. The day I decided to open up my eyes, and make a googly face to the insides of a car! Sounds very weird, doesn't it? Read on and find out...
It is 1997, and I am in the final year of college. In those golden days, I would live as a paying guest in a little place about a mile from campus. And on days when I would actually wake up on time, I would walk it down. Or walk it up rather, because it was on the top of a hill. Yes yes, very picturesque and all. But that's not the point.
The mile takes me about 15 minutes to complete. The steep incline, the busy traffic, the lack of a footpath, etc etc makes for slow progress. It was the last 5 minutes, when a speck of something got into my eye and it began to water profusely. Now, if you wear lenses, you will know that this is a very uncomfortable situation, and you h.a.v.e to relieve yourself before you do anything else. I had to find a way to clean my lens again and see if that got it out. I didn't carry a mirror in my handbag, thoughI religiously carried my lens case and cleaner. What to do? I could never wear lenses without a mirror!
I saw a car parked on the side of the road. I thought quickly and looked up and down the stretch. No one. I moved fast and plonked my face in front of the tinted windows. Took out the lens, cleaned it up and put it back on again. In all, about 3 minutes. And while I was at it, I also smoothed out my heir and cleaned up the smudges of my kajal. And then, all set. I was just about to leave, when the window of the car slowly rolled down. I froze on the spot, shocked. Someone had been inside it all along, watching me in all my antics. Opening up my eyes wide to insert the lens. What a sight I must have looked.
It was a guy. And he had a huuuuuuge smirk on his face. I mumbled a quick apology and scooted from the spot and the last 5 minutes of that walk was done in under 2!
So the other day, Thambi peeps into the pantry, locates and takes my apron off the shelf, comes over and hands it to me. I take it and thank him, thinking he gives because he associates it as mine. Good observation and all. But no. That's not the end of it. With lots of action, and bits of Thambi-speak thrown in, he instructs me to wear it. And wear it now...he says. I do. And with a satisfied air, he now walks away, leaving me staring after him.
As if this wasn't enough, Winkie charges down the stairs this weekend morning and informs me that the laundry basket is overflowing and please, would I please do something about it please?
*sigh*. I think the time has come to reinvent myself.
We are running a week behind schedule, which is why my building team here spent some precious time over the weekend on the house. And now, I can say that we are very near completion. The insides are all primed and painted and finished. Let's got through it room by room. The bedroom has been painted in that tinge of pink and purple that we like to call lavender. I know it is a much darker shade, and that happened because our 'white' ran out. We have then used the purple to lightly accent the walls on 2 sides of the room. We also decided to go with neutral carpeting here, offset by an area rug, which we have painted on.
Next, is the loft cum den. Following popular suggestions, I went with the warm orange-brown combo. More of orange, less of brown as you can see. Its plainly painted on, with no frills, to not take away from the practical functionality of this space....it acts as the passageway to every part of the house, from every other part of the house.
And if you have to know what that means, you can check out the full front view of the house, minus the walls.
The doors have been painted on and little doorknobs too. Winkie noticed and liked that touch very much. The entire external of the house has been covered with the scrap white paper, and here's a list now of what remains:
1. Railings and banisters for the stairs.
2. Frames for all the windows.
3. Painting the exteriors of the house.
4. Crafting all the furniture for each room, except perhaps the kitchen. I'll tell you why later. ;)
5. Building a roof for the house and also a wall covering the front, which can be taken off anytime someone wants to play house. :)
We are hoping for a grand opening by Pongal. Wish us luck and again, please be there! You are not exempted from bearing gifts, and oh...we accept gift cards too! :D
Before you read the prompt, make sure you will have 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to write and please do time yourself. Once you've written it, please leave a link here so we can come over and read it. Here goes:
Do you have any one moment in your life, when you were totally, madly, utterly embarassed? Was it a situation in which you did something, said something or just happened to find yourself in? If you recall those feelings of wanting to sink through the ground, or suddenly appear invisible....use this prompt to recount them and help us feel your plight!
Yesterday, some tensions built up between me and Winkie and I refused to speak with him all evening. At first, he was belligerent. Then he tired of it and came to me and tried all kinds of things to get me to speak. He told me he was hungry, and I set his food on the table, without a word. He told me the food was hot and burnt his tongue, when I motioned R to cool it for him. He told me he was tired and I set out his clothes for the night on the bed, but didn't say a word. He tried making observations like....Look Amma, Thambi did this... etc. But I stayed my course.
Finally, he went off to a corner and took out his doodle board, wrote the words...Amma, you are beautyful...and set it under my nose. I looked at it and then looked away. He must have been disheartened, but he didn't give up. He wrote a lot more things on it, which he didn't show me this time. This morning, when I came downstairs, it was lying on the table. A surge of affection, and I picked it up. He had as usual done his scribble words network. And some of the things it said are...
You look pretty.
Good girl.
You are the best.
This house is beautyful.
the word....Kitchen, and lots of hearts drawn in. And as I looked at it, I remembered something. He had asked me what my favorite colour was, over and over again. I hadn't answered. If I had...he would have put it on the board as well. Overall, I am not flooded with remorse, I realise. I did what I did after thinking calmly and without knowing any other way of driving my point into his very thick head. But I wish I had told him just that one thing. It would have at least made his peace offering complete.
Thambi loves to sing. He really loves to sing. In the 9-10 hours of his wakeful day, at least 2-3 hours of that will be interspersed with singing. Do you realise how much of practice that is every day? Words fail him, but he makes up for this one shortcoming by carrying a mean tune. tha tha tha or na na na or any such litany of words act as a filler to deliver the melody. But the tone and pitch remain faultless.
Twinkle Twinkle
is the little bhagavathar's maiden song. Three blind mice followed shortly thereafter. On some days, when there is a little time from the hubbub of activity, I sit down and sing the sarali varisaiand he loves to follow along. Does a good job of it too, except for the ga, which somehow morphs into something else. Yesterday, we were very pleasantly surprised when he tha tha tha-ed the tune of Hot dog hot dog hot diggity dogfrom Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with effortless gusto. Even Winkie stopped in his tracks and lent an ear.
And thusssss......his music may take him to great places and heights some day, or it might never leave the 4 walls of the bathroom. Either way, we can do him the honour of listening to his maiden song, can't we?? Oh, and don't forget to note the way he ends the song with a flair and an extended drag of the ...what you aaaaaaaaare. Oh, and the hic in between is not a sound effect.....the munchkin could have used some water at the time. Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I present to you....Thaaaambiiiii's Twinnnnkllle!
It is 3 AM and I can't sleep. Overcome by this huge, mammoth craving, I think longingly of my favorite start to the morning. The one we save up for rare occasions, like misers, so that when it happens, it happens with fireworks and full pyrotechnic dazzle in our minds!
5:45 and I am still tossing and turning. Now seems to be a good time to end the night and start the day. I come downstairs and have my honey-lemon-water detox drink. In the fresh light of morning, I am debating whether to go ahead with it. I peek through the blinds outside. There's snow on the ground, but the roads are clear. Mind made up, I race upstairs to wake R and ask him to freshen up. He notices my jacket on, and asks me where I'm going. I zip out of the room in reply.
The traffic is aleady building, early commuters on the go. I start the radio and tune into 93.9 WLIT. Its dark still and a foggy morning. I can tell by the way the headlights from the oncoming cars have a diffused glow, not the regular sharp blinding beam; by the way the treetops sort of blend into the white and glowy landscape, not standing in stark contrast to their surroundings and by the way the lights of the warehouses on the side barely peep through the mist.
...if you want to call me baby
Just go ahead, now And if you'd like to tell me maybe Just go ahead, now...
...Two Princes
by Spin Doctors plays on the radio. Its not my favorite song, but its the kind of song you sing to just because you know the words from having heard it a hundred times before. Buddy motors along steadily and drives up the crest of the hill and as we reach the top and start to descend, I can make out the twinkling lights of the cars ahead, in a snakeline procession, all making for the interstate, no doubt, trying to beat the morning rush.
The parking lot is empty as I pull in. Most people head for the drive-in. I would have too, except I've forgotten what my usual order is and I want some time to make up my mind. Its sort of nice to walk into an empty shop, and know that I'll be attended to right away. I look at all my options and it doesn't take me long to decide.
2 small coffees with cream and sugar, 2 coffee frosted donuts, and two bagels....one everything bagel, one garlic topped, with veggie cream cheese...to go please!
I ask her to slice the bagels in half. Me and R always swap each other's halves. When I get in the car, I am careful to make sure the coffee's in. I remember all my previous rooftop debacles with a smile. I can't wait to get home, which is precisely why I get a red on every traffic light. Should I sing the song just like Chip?...I wonder. But I'm too much of an adult now, and I don't recall the song anyway. So I just wait.
10 minutes later, I am home. It is just as I left it...no sounds coming from upstairs. I go to take a look and see that R is still sleeping, while Thambi is up and playing in his room. Go figure! I wake up the lazybones in irritation, fearing everything getting cold downstairs. He sleepily asks where I went and smiles when I tell him. He promises to quickly brush and come down.
I move the coffee to the table, position it in different ways, and take a picture. I sit back down and R has come. We heat up the coffee for about 20 seconds and its at the perfect temperature for drinking. All my craving couldn't have envisioned a more perfect batch of coffee. We enjoy this rationed treat, just as the boys are surprised by the completely unhealthy donut breakfast. Sometimes, you have to go off the beaten path every once in a while....it is one of the little things that makes you feel just a bit more....alive.
[Written earlier in response to the prompt. Rewritten in the present tense, with the complete narration.]
It is the evening of April 14th. I am in the car with both my siblings. Prashanth is driving and Sheetu is sitting next to him. We are headed to the souk. Sheetal is buying a watch for her father. It is the eve of Hemanth Uncle's birthday.
****************
Uncle is Pops' dearest friend. And he didn't make an appearance in our lives in all the years of my growing up in Bahrain. But when I moved back home after graduation, he was already a part of the family. A handsomer face, you will not see. Nor a more disarming smile. Nor a more neat and well put together person. I loved him the first time I met him. And as much as he was Pops' friend, he became mine too.
****************
Kandukondaen Kandukondaen has just been released, and we are all singing gustily along to Yenna solla pogirai. We have picked up the watch and are now on our way to pick up some pizza. Conversation flows easily as it does in good company. We feel young and free. And we are looking forward to the night ahead.
Shobha chechi and Ramesh Uncle are already there, when we reach home. Pretty soon the rest of gang will arrive too. Hemanth Uncle is on duty tonight and won't be home until 4 AM. So we have plenty of time to decorate and work out all the logistics of the surprise we are planning for him. But first, the food!
2 more guys have come by this time. They are Prashanth's close buddies and Uncle's as well. Prashanth is Uncle's cousin. They live together, as Uncle's family is based out of India. Sheetu is here for a visit. The pizza's a little cool by this time, but we hardly notice, as we hungrily bite in, the olives crunching in our mouth. I look over at my brother and sister. Its been ages since we 3 found ourselves in the same place, doing the same thing.
Pretty soon, we get down to business. How to orchestrate the surprise so that he is well and truly surprised??? Uncle has left instructions with Sheetu to remove the inside key from the lock, so he could use his own to come in and not wake anybody up. That's where the ideas take off and we come up with this:
Of course we didn't arrive at this sequence right away. When there are a bunch of fun loving idiots in the same room, there's way too much of talking to be done and distractions to be navigated through. After about 2 hours of putting our heads together, everything finally looks clear. Its close to midnight now, and we are all a little peaked. Ramesh Uncle has already gone into one of the bedrooms to get some shut eye. The rest of us follow suit. Appu, Ram and me choose the grandfather couch and cuddle up in an array of tangled limbs. Someone has kept an alarm close for 3:45. Uncle has already called once before to tell Sheetu to remember to take her key out of the lock. It was all we could do to contain the giggles and not give the game away before she hung up the phone.
The lights are off now. Appu, Ram and me whisper amongst ourselves for a bit, and they eventually nod off. But for me, sleep doesn't come as easily. The high of the evening hasn't faded. I mentally rehearse the sequence that is to happen soon. I think about my life and the point that it is at. Never has everything seemed to flow in tandem to my feelings and desires. Never have I been more in love with life, or more happy. Its all good. Outside, Pluto barks for a few seconds, then goes silent. It makes me think about the gift we have got for Uncle. I chuckle, imagining the look on his face.....
............................
I wake up with a start. Pluto's barking again. There's a scurry of footsteps as Sheetu hurries into the room. He's here...she hisses. What??? ...I think. It's only midnight. He's home so early?? I look at my watch and realise that its 3:55. Sleep had claimed me fully!
We all scramble excitedly to our feet, and take positions behind the couch, the door, to the side of the wall. scratch scratch...comes a little sound from the door. It is Uncle trying to get his key into the lock. scratch scratch scratch scratch....scratch scratch...a couple of more times, and it stops. Ding dong...chimes the door bell finally, 2 seconds later. Giggles erupt and we clamp our hands over our mouths to force the silence. Sheetu motions to us to be quiet, takes a deep breath and calmly opens the door. A mumble of voices, and Uncle steps in.
....I had told you to remove the key!!!...he is saying to Sheetu, annoyed. I forgot...she says weakly. Its all we can do to keep the laughter inside. Phase 1 of the operation is only just over. He tells her to go to sleep and walks a few paces down the passage, when the phone rings. Venkat, behind the door has done his thing. He had rung once before during our planning stage, so it would be the last call he had made, and he would just have to press the 'talk' button 2 times. He was afraid of messing up in the dark.
The footsteps stop. He hesitates, and then makes his way into the living room. Who could it be, calling now???...we hear him say. It is dark so he switches on the light, and our eyes are blinded by the sudden onslaught of brightness. This is my cue. I fumble and somehow manage to point the remote in the right direction and press 'play'.
Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...begins a female voice in a soft croon. This is it! We all spring out of our hiding places, one by one and yell....SURPRISEEEEEE!!!
Uncle whips around with a start. He had his back faced to us all this time, and the music together with the sudden chorus of voices is too much for him. He looks completely shell shocked. In his own words, he would later tell us....."I switch on the lights, come to the phone and then suddenly there is this song coming from the system and so many faces just popping out from all corners like mushrooms..."
The 'surpriseeeee' part is over, but we are all still yelling and screaming and surrounding him and jumping and clapping and laughing and hugging and enjoying the utterfly flabbergasted look on his handsome face. What a moment it is! It takes us all a while to settle down, because everyone is talking and explaining at the same time. Eventually, the noise dips back to a decent level for 4 in the morning. We sit now and talk at length. Relive every moment. Its like we can't have enough of it. Tired as he must be after a long night at work, none of it shows on his face. All we see are the merry twinkling eyes, astounded in their happiness, a glow on his face, evoked by the love of all those around him, and a kind of childish wonder.....that we could have all gone to such lengths and such minute details to make the time of his life.
Soon, its time to open presents. We can't wait for him to get to ours. Appu and me had picked it out just the day before on s shoestring budget. We hold our breath as he carefully opens the wrapper. He reads the card first, which has a little inscription inside. This is for all those nights you have to go out in search of Pluto. He looks up and smiles, eyebrows raised, sufficiently curious. He reaches in and scoops out the bright blue hurricane style lantern out of the wrapper and then guffaws loudly. Long have been the nights, when he and Prashanth have gone out in search of the elusive Pluto, by the feeble light of the torch, when he didn't come home by curfew time, only to be found carousing with his lady friend in some desolate yard several compounds away. In circumstances such as these, a hurricane lamp would come in very handy!
The conversation ebbs and flows and it becomes 5'o clock. Finally, Uncle stands up and announces that he is going for a shower. And when he gets back, he is going to fix us all a nice hot breakfast!!!! There is no question of going back to sleep now. After a delicious breakfast of eggs and toast, he suggests a drive out to the beach nearby. It is still early enough to catch a sunrise, we hope, but the sun has already risen by the time we get there. We stand on the shores, hugging ourselves in the nippy air and look eastward, to the day just beginning.
This will undoubtedly be one of the best memories of my life so far. The night we spent preparing to surprise Hemant uncle on his birthday. He was on night duty that night, and would come home at about 4 in the morning. A big group of us gathered together at his place. Leading the gang were his cousin and daughter, both of whom had worked out most of the logistics concerning the surprise.
We decked up the house a bit, stopping for some dinner and beverages and lots of good natured banter and giggles. Now he had a key to the house, and would obviously use it to make his way inside. He had left instructions to remove the inside key before his daughter went to sleep. The first part of the plan was to leave the inside key in place, so he would have to ring the doorbell.
That would give us ample time to take our positions, behind the couch, behind the doors, and every other place in the living room that would act as a good concealer. He would ring the bell, the daughter would open the door, then one of us would ring the home number from our cell, causing him to come into the living room to pick up the phone. He would obviously switch on the light before doing that, and when he did, we would all spring out from our places and yell and scream and surprise the living daylights out of him! That was the plan.
And never was a plan made that worked out so beautifully, down to the last minute detail.
After hashing out all the little things, we all dozed off, in different comfy spots in the living room. There were about 8 of us, if I am not mistaken. The hours of sleep were very little, and the anticipation of his return, very high.
Close to 4Am, we were woken up by the daughter's hushed tones. He's here.... she said. We all scrambled from our spots to get into the hiding zones. We heard his footsteps on the pathway, and his key turned in the lock. The tension was high and gripping. We heard him try the key a couple of times, and then he figured it out....and finally rang the doorbell. The daughter waited for a few seconds, before going to open it, but before she did...she arranged her face in a suitably sleepy expression.
Every 2 Sundays of the month, Winkie attends Sunday School at our local temple.
This whole enterprise by the Indian community here is simply amazing. Right from the registration procedure to the regularly held classes, its a display of service, organisation, professionalism and dedication by everyone involved. It is amazing how so many established members of the community come forward to lay down their time, energies and creativity at everyone's service. Right from all the teachers of the various classes, coming to every session with the prepared study aids and printouts, to the behind-the-scenes staff who keep the classes running smoothly and on time, to the ladies manning the pretty little gift shop on the ground floor, to the energetic team behind the counters dishing out meal after meal at the cafeteria....you really feel humbled by how much of their time they give to the temple and the Sunday school efforts. Just so that little families spread out across the city and the suburbs can all congregate at one place and give their kids a sampling of their culture.
Its 10 AM and we are seated in a wide arc in the Radha Krishna shrine room. The religion class is on in full swing, and I am sitting behind my son. All around me, I see bright, eager, young faces, listening in rapt attention to the story in progress. Its a reading from another chapter in the Ramayana, taken up from where it was last left off....where the hunt for Sita begins. Winkie listens and his expression is inscrutable as always. I cannot really make out how much of his posture indicates his concentration and how much of it is lodged in a certain resignation....that every second Sunday means coming out here to a different sort of school. From time to time, he turns around and looks at me with a slight, sheepish smile, assured that I am still there.
A full bhajan class is goin on in the hall outside. I cannot make out all the words, but it always ends with an energetic rendition of sharanamsharanam, to the accompaniment of rhythmic clapping in the fervour of singing. The smell of something holy always lingers in the air. Some camphor, a lot of divine smelling incense, the sweet potpourri of fresh flower scents, the faint fumes from the lighted lamps....this entire amalgam of fragrances is everywhere, and in all the carpet fibres, and it sets a calm mood. Everyone looks relaxed, at ease, involved.
I look back at Winkie and his shoulders are hunched, his hands by his sides, palms flat on the floor. Thambi is around somewhere too with his father, probably listening to the bhajans, because singing is perhaps the only thing that can keep him rooted to a spot. The prayers begin, signifying the end of the class. A mumble of voices, young and old, join in and sing the arati with the teacher. Winkie's lips don't seem to be moving like all the others. But I know that his antennae is up, as usual, tucking away all this stimulus somewhere in his mind space, and it will all come tumbling out, quite by accident one day at home, when he is truly in his element.
The class has ended. All the kids make a beeline for the teacher who is handing out stickers. I smile. Stickers still have the power to make things happen. Winkie stands to the side, quiet and waiting his turn patiently, watching all the others go first. There is a condition to getting the sticker though. Each child has to tell the name of the Vishnu avatar that was under discussion today. Kurma...they all say one by one, followed by a pink or blue or yellow....the colour of the sticker they want. Winkie still watches on, and finally, its his turn. The teacher asks him the requisite question. Kurma...comes the dutiful answer. And blue...he says in following. Blue it is. He comes away flashing me another sheepish smile, pleased with the sticker.
Thambi notes the shiny flashy thing on Anna's folder and wants one too. He walks hurriedly to the front, with R on his tail. He fiddles with all the teacher's papers and boxes on the floor. R apologises and tries to pry things loose from his grip. The teacher laughs and says its ok. She guesses what he's come for. Do you want a sticker....she asks him sweetly. He holds out his hand. She sticks one on. He turns around and walks towards me, the same smug, pleased expression of his brother. I smile at how alike they are.
We walk out to have a quick darshan at the Rama shrine. The adornments are beautiful, and the elaborate flower jewelled sun rays on the background of the deities is breathtaking. Flowers radiate happiness. Their colours radiate happiness. And everything in a specific design is the very pinnacle of that happiness. I missed a camera in my hands then. No photography is allowed inside. We cannot stay for the entire abhishekham. I love watching abhishekamsthough. I don't know if there is a certain order that is followed in it....but its simply beautiful to see the stone of form bathed in milk and juice and fruits and butter. The way it all just slides over the idols in a gentle path all the way to the bottom, sometimes collected and blended together and then a spoonful placed in the cupped plam of every devotee....the taste being something out of this world, especially when you close your eyes and savour in focus. We have no time to stay as we have to make our way to the next class.....the Tamil language class.
If I ever doubted whether Winkie enjoyed his religion class, I have no doubts at all about what he feels about this one. Its his least favorite of the two and we have heard many plaintive groans against going here. Frankly, it is not a choice we are willing to make for him. Tamil is something we want him exposed to, especially since he doesn't make a point of speaking it at home. But one day, quite by accident, he told us the abiding reason why he doesn't enjoy it so much. As it turns out, these classes are held behind closed doors. There is no parent participation and its like regular schooltime, only more strange and unfamiliar. And there was an instinctive fear in him that we would leave the temple and go back home when he was inside. When we heard it, it made us smile and also a little sad. Can you think back to the time when you were small and were overtaken by the fear that you would lose sight of your parents in some public place and be lost?? It has happened to R and he relates to this fear very acutely. In a way, so do I. We reassured him with all our hearts and since then he has fought it less. But that doesn't mean he enjoys Tamil homework any more. But that is a story for another post.
The teacher has called in saying she would be 10 minutes late. Winkie is seated in the second row, his bulky folder on his lap, sitting quietly. Watching him from the back always tugs at my mother-strings just a bit more. It accentuates his littleness to me...and sets him apart from the crowd he finds himself in. The teacher finally arrives, out of breath, flashes us a brief apologetic smile and goes into the class and shuts the door. Thambi is all over the place now and there is only one way to tether him to a spot and make it more manageable for us. Milk. I hand him his cup and we sit at a table and catch our breath. In the nearby table is another Tamil class in session. 3 high school students are seated in front of a gentleman, a book open in front of them. They read each passage out loud and he talks about what it means. They seem engrossed and it doesn't seem right to disturb them with my stares.
Thambi is done filling up full tank and we head out to the Shiva temple this time. We start with the Ganesha deity, and prayers are being offered by the priest there. With every incantation, he places a bright flower at different points in the garland of white flowers adorning the Lord. There are pink flower, bright yellows and this very radiant shade of blue. Where did this one come from???...we wonder. We have never seen this shade. Again, the sharp contrast of bright colours vs a light palette is an electrifying pleasure for the eyes. You can just feast on it. As I watch, entranced, I can feel someone looking. I look down to see a pair of the most curious eyes I have ever seen. He cannot have been more than 2, and when he meets my eyes, he smiles.....this open, friendly, loving smile and I am bewitched. I smile back, and you know when you smile with all your heart....it overflows. It feels full...you can actually feel that fullness. Have you ever felt that way??
His mother is standing by, eyes closed, hands clasped in salutation to the divine. For me, the Lord no longer holds my attention. I am all eyes for this little person below me. Sometimes, when you look at a child, you also invite the mother's look. She looks at me and smiles and I ask her what I am dying to know....how old is he??? He is just about 20 months, she answers. Oh! Even smaller than Thambi, but how does he sport the air of such a gentleman??? He has an old world charm that comes from those eyes and that smile. That's when the older sibling pipes up....I am 4!!!! she declares, including herself in my attention, and putting her arms around her little brother. She is such a cute little thing and her nurturing role in their relationship is already evident.
The sound of the bell, and I snap back to attention. The adornment is complete, the results stunning, and now it is time for the arati. The priest walks around from deity to deity, their forms gaining significance from the light of the lamp he rotates in a circular arc. We follow him all around the hall, taking positions in front of each deity, taking care not to block the vision of the worshippers behind. Finally it is time for the prasadam. The closest I have come to taste nectar is from the teertham that the priests spoon into your hand. You accept it humbly, partake of it eagerly, touch the remnants to your eyes and over your head, the drops feeling chill and pleasant. Thambi enjoys this part very much. This is followed by almonds, 2 for each. And the 2 find their way into Thambi's mouth just as soon as it is laid in his open palms. mum mum...he says, chomping on it juicily.
The darshan complete, we head for the cafeteria and get our takeouts. 2 tamarind rice, 2 curd rice, 1 tomato rice, 1 pack meduvada, 1 pongal with chutney. You'd be surprised at how hungry once can feel after the hour long ride to the temple, the 2 hour stint there, and the hour long ride back home, after just a bowl of cheerios and soymilk in the morning. We end this afternoon on the most ideal note....a family siesta time, with a most cuddly Thambi lying on top of me, his face nuzzling against my neck, the weight of the comforter above us, in a warm cocoon, locking the cold out and the peace within.
I walk into the bedroom and find a little someone fiddling with the bedside table. He has opened the drawer and scooped something out of it. I catch a sparkle as he flashes it around in the air and realise to my horror that he has found my pearl earrings, the ones I took off at night and sleepily deposited into a little corner of the drawer, to put on first thing the next morning.
I am frozen on the spot, debating what to do, because any sudden moves from me and he will make a run for it, trying to escape with his novel find. So I stay on the spot and watch him. He watches me watch him, then as if having decided what to do, toddles over to where I am and slowly opens the palm of his right hand. And there it is. One single pearl earring.
I am surprised that he offers it to me, and yet not really. He is known to be the bigger man many a times, an irony that is not lost on me as I count down to his second completed year in my life. I take it from his hand as slowly as he opened up to reveal it and pause again, waiting to see what he will do next. Not a word or sound has escaped either of our lips so far, and this silence remains unbroken. He senses my unspoken question, and in answer, leans over and touches the lobe of my left ear. A featherfly of a touch....his touch is so soft and gentle, I wish it didn't end so quickly. But I am clear now on what I must do and I insert the stem into my ear and press it on firmly in place. He watches keenly, and when I take my hand away, he cocks his head to one side as if to get a better view of my completed work. Its there.
He runs away now, back to the drawer to retrieve the other earring. I follow him. He turns around and places it in my open palm, points to my other ear and says...mmm. Its a short grunt of a sound, and the instruction in it is clear. I oblige again and am fully paired. He cocks his head again to the other side and checks on the second ear and the second earring. Then he looks back at me. And opens out his hands in the gesture of asking for a hug. I fly to him in response, and the little form comes close and melds into me, the fit feeling as right as it always has....since that first time 2 years ago...
Hello folks! I thought I'd add a few teasers of the project close to all our hearts at this point. Winkie lent a good hand in all the efforts so far, and whenever he didn't, I plowed ahead....cos by God....this is fun!!!
So far, we have painted the living room walls, the kitchen and the upstairs bathroom. If you are wondering about the technicalities, all we did was to cut out A-4 size scrap papers to the dimensions of each wall, paint on it individually, allow it to dry and then plaster it onto the insides with a simple glue stick. Let's check out the pictures....
As you can see, this is the Living Room. We have decided to paint it in this vibrant red, because feng shui wise, its a very warm colour sure to invite friendship and social interactions. We attached a white panel molding to the walls and it does make it look a little fancier. We are also going with all white trim! :) Those are the steps that R built that takes you upto Level 2.
So let's make a quick trip upstairs and check out the almost finished bathroom. We chose a cool blue here for the water theme and feel. I really like the aqua feeling in this room, don't you?? As for the floors we went with these midnight blue tiles set on white and it offsets the trim and the wall colour rather nicely. Humour me when I say this! :)
If we take those cute stairs and come back down again, we can pop into the kitchen for a quick look at the design there. Cheerful, bright yellow walls with simple green patterned wallpaper. I believe, according to feng shui again, that if you have an east facing kitchen, it is very desirous to bring in some green into that space. And that's what I hoped to do....the yellow signifies the east signifying the sun and the green is the feng shui luck charm!
And that's the end of the tour. Its what we have so far and as you can see a lot more work is needed to pull everything together into a cohesive space. I made a very lucky find of something that we can use for all the props in this house, and I am terribly excited to fish it out and put in on display. More about that in the coming posts!
And if you as readers would like to be involved in our little house building adventure....do send in your thoughts and ideas and things you would like to see in this space, and we'll see what we can do to make it happen. It might very well end up being everyone's project fantasy! :) For starters....you can tell me what colour we should do for the bedroom and the loft space. Looking forward to the replies! So long!
Finally, he went off to a corner and took out his doodle board, wrote the words...
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