Happy 7, my little man!

My dearest Winkie,

Today you turn 7 years old. 7 is a pretty significant number in the Vedic sense. It was a time when a young boy was initiated into the path of Brahman, with the official thread ceremony. It signifies the true end of childhood, for henceforth, your sanskaras become binding on you. Whatever actions your perform, leaves its impressions, which will be carried forward until expended, in this life and the next. And psychologically as well, it is supposed to be a time when the boy moves away from the fold of his mother and closer to the father, the peers, the community. That single number 7, is supposed to be the gateway to all these changes.

And right now, from our very micro perspective, it feels like nothing has really changed. You still need me more than ever, and more so now, here in Chennai, where everything has been a shift from the familiarity of home. I thought a lot about what to write for this letter of yours, and could not come up with anything special, other than the mystique of the '7'. So I am going to content myself with giving you a simple record of how our day is panning out and is expected to pan out.

You woke up only around 8:30, but there were so many calls on the phone before that of loving family wishing to talk to you to wish you. Appa will call you later in the evening, when you've already got a headstart on your day. The morning started off on a sour note for you, as you refused the mango complan that you had wanted me to buy for you. I didn't want you to waste the milk and you didn't want to touch it and we went on like this in some vein, until finally you settled for some Bournvita. You should know, that we have a lot of these kind of fights every day. And it was no fun repeating it on your birthday as well. :)

We had a nice plan going, for soon after an early lunch, we went shopping, just you and me, to busy busy Mylapore, to buy you whatever you wanted, as a gift from your grandparents and your family. We bought you a proper watch this time, not a toy one, though I still thought it was way too early for one. But your Chitthi had so painfully researched it and chosen one that she wanted you to have. So her wish was fulfilled, as was yours. My preference was that it be analog, and it is.

We bought you something to wear tonight for the dinner with the grandparents and family. Sandlas to replace the worn ones you have now. Clothes and sandals for Thambi too, since it feels nicer that way, and you took some interest and pointed out which shirts to pick for him. Yesterday, I had placed an order for a blackforest cake, saying 'Happy 7th Birthday Akhil'. You were with me, when we did it, and could barely contain your excitement.

As I am typing this now, you are lounging around, trying to pass the time until 7 PM. I love you. I really really really do. In my heart and dreams, I had envisioned feeling terribly mushy and making every minute and second of your birthday happy for you. But its been difficult, because my fuse, as always is short, and our chemistry is such that we always find ourselves on sparring ends. But you are my son...the one who changed my status forever, and every part of you is special to me for that.

Even as I find myself wanting to change a lot of things about you, I love all your little quirks, everything that moves you to tears, and everything that makes you erupt into a very unwilling smile. I love your two crooked little bottom teeth, and that irresistible smile. I love your shyness and being one of the few ones to know that so much lies beneath that veneer of silence. I also wish I wasn't one of the few who knew that, because I want you to glow and shine in everything you do in your life, kanna.

I am sorry for everything else this past year, where I have made things more difficult for you, and I am glad for everytime afterward that I have pulled you close for a hug and a firm kiss and to say I love you. Because I do. I do. I do. I do.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day. The very fact that you look forward to your birthday every year, is proof enough that you know that we care and we love, even through this limited form of expression. I chose this picture for your 7th, because it shows you laughing with abandon, with your arms open, as if receiving everything coming your way. That is what I wish for you more than anything else. For you to welcome everything in your life, the good, the great and the grim, with such love and faith that you stand so deeply rooted in that sand, that not even the strongest wave can move you from your point, as it washes and recedes, and you still have that look of cheerful abaondon on your face.

God Bless you for all time.
Amma.