The heart and its lover...

The heat was what hit me the first day. For the first time ever, I wasn't sure I would be able to withstand it. Thankfully the rains came down just in time and cooled away some of the stress, making the prospects of the next 2 months a lot more pleasant.

I have realised one thing about being back in desh....how every trip I make is a barometer of my spiritual reading. How I can sense my own inner growth and stand firmly atop the mound of progress that I have made which gives me an even better bird's eye view of the road that I have travelled to get there. India strengthens and fortifies me very intensely in this way. I am closest to my fountain of peace here, I have come to realise. I just love it!

Another thing that hit me about this time, is not a culture shock of how much things have changed, because I really don't know how much it has, never having really grown up here, but how much more at home I have become in Chicago in these last 6 months. I had been lost and drifting for awhile, not enjoying any kind of firm anchor to life, but I have found myself again through the heart of a friend who has really shone the light in all the dark places and forced me to get my blinders off. And just like that, whatever resistance I had to the country I was still living in, that feeling of restlessness, of being a nomad at heart, of never knowing where quite to settle...all of it just came into sharp focus and reached a clear visible point. I know that Chicago has become a true home for me, after a really long time. I have begun to love my life there, in the way I should have always have. I find my attachments strengthening with every new friend I make, and talking to whom stirs my heart. And just as peaceful as it all is, it is also again unsettling. Because it gives rise to some big questions once more about where we shall be 5 years down the line.

But I can never ask myself a big question and remain impregnated with it for long. Cutting the ties that bind...is my motto these days. I am finding that all the issues, big and small are answered with this simple test : Does it adhere to the 5 human values?

Sathya Dharma Shanthi Prema Ahimsa

In other words...Truth, Rigth Conduct, Peace, Love, Non Violence.

This is the litmus test for any step we want to take in life. Its easier to ignore this 5-fold principle for the smaller things in life, which we can easily ignore as not creating much impact...though at a subterranean level, it all adds up. And it becomes easier to view it in the light of the bigger life issues, since we need all the help we can get at the time anyways!

In 3 short days, I feel the tremendous power of love. Its all love, love love, love, love. That's all there is. There is nothing more to life than this. Of this I am convinced. But how easily, those blinders come on in a moment of weakness and a flash of insanity! Still, every step has been a step forward. And I am loving this keen feeling for life once more. India always does that to me. Touches me in places that I had forgotten could exist. Challenges me to heights that I would not have the fortune of being tested to. Transforms me in ways that is a leap of faith and understanding. My heart will always belong to her, but somewhere, it is expanding to take in the happiness that I have found across the 7 and something seas!