Never Complain. Never Explain.

Personal transformation is an alteration. An adjustment to a way of thinking that was deeply ingrained all this while, finally shaken up one one explicit thing, or a combination of factors that lead to that one point in time. Such that that deeply held notion comes lose, and you are able to examine it more closely, and see it better for what it really was all this while. And when you s.e.e  it...finally, really, see it..you cannot rest with it anymore. The desire to change starts to rage within you, and c.h.a.n.g.e is what churns out of it. And suddenly, you are no longer what you used to be. You are better. You are purer. You are more conscious. You are more questioning. You are more discriminating, in the best possible way. Always pulling yourself up short, at that exact crucial point, when that same mistake could be made again.

There is a lot of struggle at first....when you begin to practice that change. Even though the discerning quality in you has been sharpened, it does not follow suit that your actions will follow the prompt of your Intelligence. No, that takes several more rounds of painstaking effort at application, and the resultant failures thereof. But each effort is a success. Each thought to do better, whether followed by action or not, is a triumph. And soon, you will weary so much of not getting it right, that one day, you just will. Exactly in line with your thought and your better, keener sense. And that is when the change becomes you. There is no difference anymore, to tell it apart, because it is you, and you are it.

Such that it will be something that gets noticed in you, by those who relate to you well. They will say....you've changed. It might sound like an accusation sometimes, or it may be a very quiet remark of deep resound. And sometimes, you know of it even before they do. Because somewhere off late, the mind has loosened its hold on you, and there is more peace and less heaving, in reaction to everything in your life. There is a little bit more stillness, and a lot more quiet. The breathing remains even...perhaps even deliberate and slow and very very luxurious. It is an ecstasy of the highest possible state. There are very few feelings that can top having that steady hold on your breath...

Happiness is a friend that calls at will and surprises you every once in a while. But it is not the feeling or the sensation in my heart that satisfies me. What I thrive on, more than anything else, is this insane quiet, just at that point when everything is going crazily berserk around me. The way I feel even more like a stone, rooted to a spot, no matter which way the wind blows. And it is blowing, let me assure you, at close to 65 miles an hour, if the weather in Chicago today can be believed. :)

What brought this on? Just this very potent and very simple message I read today. Let me share it with you.

Never Complain, Never Explain.

~ By Greg Hickman


"Never complain; never explain. Don't justify the error; fix it." ~ Henry Ford II


Quite a number of years ago, I stumbled across a phrase in a magazine that really piqued my interest. The phrase simply said "never complain, never explain.” From the moment I read it, those four words really hit home with me. To my way of thinking, they summed up the philosophy of all winners. A winner should never waste his or her valuable time complaining or making excuses.


I decided to tape a piece of paper containing this phrase to a wall in my office along with an accompanying challenge. As soon as I went an entire day without voicing a complaint or offering up an excuse, I could take the message down.


I have always enjoyed a good challenge and I figured this phrase could provide a tough test of my will for a day or so. The first day or two quickly passed without me accomplishing my goal. "All I need to do is toughen up a little and I'll get the job done. No problem," I confidently reassured myself. A month later, the piece of paper was still taped to my wall.


I couldn't believe it, I still had not gone just one day without making a complaint or offering up some sort of excuse. In fact, I had complained about something and made an excuse about something else at least one time every single day for a month. Not one or the other - but both!


I was disappointed that I had failed to accomplish what had originally seemed like such an easy goal. But more than that, I was embarrassed. Now I was really motivated to answer the challenge and get this message off my wall once and for all. Make no mistake about it, I would get the job done this time for sure!


Five years later that torn, tattered, yellowed piece of paper with the simple little message was still hanging defiantly on my office wall. How could this have happened to me? I really gave it a good shot, but one way or another, I would always find a way to slip up at some point during each and every day and start complaining or explaining about something or another. One thing I learned from this challenge was we all complain a lot more than we think we do and we make excuses left and right.





I know what you're probably thinking right about now. You think it will be easy, don't you? Ha! I thought so too. I now realize that the fulfillment of that simple little pledge will be a lifelong pursuit of mine.


Even if you and I fail to live a single day devoid of any personal complaining or explaining, we can still significantly cut down on the amount of complaints and excuses we make and that is indeed a very good start, isn't it? When you take on this challenge, you will begin eliminating a lot of negative feelings and destructive actions from your life and consequently will become a much better person to be around.


There is no better time for you to get to work on your very own "never complain, never explain" challenge than right now. All you have to do is stop complaining and quit explaining and get started today.

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So, I have done the obvious. I have printed this out in the largest font that will fit on an A4 in landscape, and am taping it to a kitchen cabinet, which is where I do most of my complaining anyways. :)

I must have heard this...never complain...many many times, through many many inspired sources. But did I k.n.o.w it? No, I did not. For knowing something, means knowing it intimately. And intimate means 'in'. 'Inside'. And I don't know it in that way at all. But I hope that is about to change. The day I take that paper down, I will tell you about it!