Just as we got back home after our morning station run, Winkie followed me into the house, and declared, a plaintive note in his voice...Amma, Sathya called me a bad boy!
Now I've heard this enough number of times, as the boys grow and repeatedly discover new dynamics to their relationship as brothers and playmates, but this morning as I heard it, a simple and immediate question formed in my head, even without my knowing, and I asked it. Do you believe that?
He was quiet. Do you believe that you are a bad boy, Winkie?..I repeated.
He nodded quietly in the no. That's it then, right?..I say.
Yes... he nodded, this time.
And that was it.
And quietly as it came, it was still a bolt of lightning, suddenly illuminating the space of my mind, much like it does on a dark and rainy night.
Anyone can say anything to us. And the only task upto us at that point, is to examine it to see if there is truth. If it is not the truth, the way forward is simple. It is false, so shrug it off. The reason that it bothers us, even to the extent that it does, is our 'inability' to let it go. At times, all we are required to be is a medium for things to pass through. But if we mistakenly broaden the scope of that role to to receiving and holding all that energy, then no doubt it will fester and harm our insides.
But if it is true, if it points to even a sliver of the truth, then we can dwell on it just a bit more, to pick out those grains of truth, and hold them tightly in our fist, while letting all that chaff blow away. We can look at those grains of truth again, and ingrain them into our awareness. And then, it is time to let even that go.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
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17 comments:
I needed to read this post exactly today for something that's been bothering me - thanks :)
Very well said. Remembered this
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt
Ah well said..Loved this post..
You have empowered Winkie in such a way that in future, he would not let other people's 'negative' beliefs and thoughts become his own by simply not believing in them!! Awesome, Tharini! And what an experience it should have been to be the medium for this wisdom to flow :-)
Lakshmi
wow inspiring post! i just love your writing, keep up the good work
Dee : I hope this means that its not bothering you anymore.
Vidhya : That quote says it all!
WoL : Welcome back from your trip! :)
L : :). You got me.
Shakti : Thanks.
What a wonderful thought..I loved the way you made him think :)
my boy crying once told me that a kid at the park called him a dog.horrified,I told him to touch himself behind and see if there was indeed a tail.He smiled.
people will throw all sorts of things at you,but you decide how centered you are.That's also self-belief.
Good article..Keep writing more..
Nithya
http://www.dewdropsindia.in
Thank you for this post T! We have been dealing with this at home too, and though I have talked to Naren about it, I think this is a good way to build his confidence :)
This is exactly what I said to Cantaloupe when one of her friends had commented about her being bossy (when she had asked the friend to not waste her lunch) ... I asked her, do you believe you were bossy ... she thought about it for a minute and said No. Thats it then I said :)
Welcome back to blogworld .. your thought provoking posts were missed...
Getting ready for the summer break?
Dee : Hope its not bothering you anymore.
Vidhya : That says it all.
WoL : Welcome back from your holiday!
L : I hope that this has sown a seed in him, which will hopefully mature into wisdom to really discriminate his thoughts. Though,a lot of these things require constant drilling.
CA : Yes! Getting geared for summer break. Have to work out how to keep Winkie engaged for the mornings. Sathya will still have school, so he's engaged. We'll see. Are you here for the summer this time?
Planning India trip ... yippppeeeeee ... but thats only for a month ...
Thanks Tara. I don't know what I'd do if you stopped blogging.
Shobana : I am so happy to see your comment. And to think that Naren has grown so much! Wow, time flies!
MM : You'd do fine. :) I don't know what I and a million others would do, if you stopped blogging. So don't ever!
So true! Put things in perspective. The choice is ours - it is how we deal with it right? Works like magic when I write it, but when it comes to reality, there is a long way to go :)!
Has been so long since I visited your space.
Sole : yes, reality is always another reality! :) But it is possible.
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