Just as we got back home after our morning station run, Winkie followed me into the house, and declared, a plaintive note in his voice...Amma, Sathya called me a bad boy!
Now I've heard this enough number of times, as the boys grow and repeatedly discover new dynamics to their relationship as brothers and playmates, but this morning as I heard it, a simple and immediate question formed in my head, even without my knowing, and I asked it. Do you believe that?
He was quiet. Do you believe that you are a bad boy, Winkie?..I repeated.
He nodded quietly in the no. That's it then, right?..I say.
Yes... he nodded, this time.
And that was it.
And quietly as it came, it was still a bolt of lightning, suddenly illuminating the space of my mind, much like it does on a dark and rainy night.
Anyone can say anything to us. And the only task upto us at that point, is to examine it to see if there is truth. If it is not the truth, the way forward is simple. It is false, so shrug it off. The reason that it bothers us, even to the extent that it does, is our 'inability' to let it go. At times, all we are required to be is a medium for things to pass through. But if we mistakenly broaden the scope of that role to to receiving and holding all that energy, then no doubt it will fester and harm our insides.
But if it is true, if it points to even a sliver of the truth, then we can dwell on it just a bit more, to pick out those grains of truth, and hold them tightly in our fist, while letting all that chaff blow away. We can look at those grains of truth again, and ingrain them into our awareness. And then, it is time to let even that go.