Thursday, January 12, 2012

The lessons of the lost Zoop!

Some months ago, Winkie lost his only, and most cherished, 7th birthday gifted watch in school. It was a Titan Zoop, with a cool basketball logo on the sides. He loved it, and I have to say it looked sporty and smashing on his wrist. That is until he lost it. This is what roughly happened from his account of things. It was a sweaty recess, and when he came back to class, he decided to take off the watch to cool off, and laid it on his desk. It was reading time, and one of his friends asked to see it. He handed it over, and it was also returned to him. Of that much he clearly recalls. And then he left his desk to go find a book or whatever and when he came back, it was gone. He looked everywhere, in his bag, under his desk, on the floor, and even made the whole class look, but no one could find it. And it was declared lost. 

Now yes, the mind does tend to speculate on it, and think....what if somebody took it, and just didn't own up. It was a big possibility, and one that he kept insisting upon, but we were at a dead end.

When he came home with the news, on the one hand, I was pretty upset about it. We loved that watch, and it was a specially selected gift from his Chitthi for his 7th birthday and he could have worn it forever, I think. And he was so careful with it too. He was very very crushed and could barely get through that evening. On the other hand, there was a small part of me that was very secretly delighted. Its hard to explain why that was the exact emotion I felt, but there it was. 

And to explain my delight, I have to digress a bit and tell you another story. One that happened close to 3 years ago. Remember that very exciting India trip, where my passport expired and I got left behind, only to have it stamped the next day and fly out on my own? Well, on that very same trip, I lost 80% of my wedding jewels to the back seat of an autorickshaw. And after the first freezing 2 minutes of shock at the implication, that same secret sense of delight was there. Looking back, it was definitely a weird emotion to have, but it was one of the most defining moments of my life. Because I got a sense of how far I had come.

You know how sometimes when something happens and right then and there, you get a faint whiff of the game and play of it all, and the whispers only grow louder, as you hear life giggling gleefully in the background, having just handed you a nice big blow, just to see what you will do with it. And the whole thing has a manner of such play and sport that you can't help but feel the glee yourself, and a sportive sense of challenge rises, and you feel like you have to pass this test. By God, you have to pass this test!

That is exactly what my delight back then was about. And in a small way, it is what it was about even with the watch. Back then, I had on my most graceful manner, and couldn't find it within the heart of me to rue what I had lost, 'cause that would mean failing that test in front of the biggest witness there was, is and always will be. The sense of that loss came weeks and months and years later, at different instances, when I couldn't dig in to my box of jewels anymore to find just the right thing to wear. 

So when Winkie came home with the loss of his favorite watch, I knew he was being handed a similar test and the delight was over having seen through the whole charade of life. Aha! Caught you again!...I felt. Watch us ace this test now!

We talked about it and he decided he would go back the next day and search even harder, and if he couldn't find it, that was that. He would have to accept it gracefully. But till then, there was still some hope and he could pray as hard as possible, and send his fervent pleas out to the Universe. But going down the road of pointing a finger at someone, was a certain dead-end, because there was no way to prove it, and even if there was, was it the right one to take? It was a point of confusion, but one we didn't have to cross because he never found it the next day. 

The sadness lingered over many days and he would look at a picture of his watch on the internet a few times, for that was the only keepsake left at this point. And he got another watch, with bowling pins on it, a much cheaper but just as cute one, when I went to the gem show some weeks ago. And he takes just as much of a pride and joy in it as he did in the one with the baskbetball logos.

So the lost Zoop taught us some valuable lessons I think. That life happens. And it can get very upsetting. That being attached to something, while giving that simple pleasure of ownership and familiarity, can also cause acute pangs of loss, when gone. That even when all seems lost, it is still okay to have hope and beam your prayer out to the Universe and cherish the possibility that you can find it again. That when you don't, it doesn't mean that that hope was misplaced, only that it carried it with it to someplace else. That parting was inevitable, but sweet things can come by, to take up the place that was left empty. That life goes on...

15 comments:

Sumana said... Best Blogger Tips

Such an important lesson to learn and all we do is get lost after loosing something. How did you face that minute when you lost your wedding jewels?? It takes a lot of courage and maturity to face it. Thanks for sharing this.

Sneha said... Best Blogger Tips

Beautifully written Tharini.

When you mentioned about that situation being a testing time, I remembered a book named "Laws of Spirit World" Did you read that book? In that book there same thing written, that all situations are tests for us to learn. If we pass the test, that means if we face the situation gracefully and learn from it then that test will never appear.If not those situations will occur again and again till we learn from it.

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

hey T nice to read you more often. while i was reading this i couldnt help but think about my own situation. i have the opposite problem. my family (yes all of them) just couldnt care less about things they lose. even things that they valued very much. and the lose things all the time, shrug it off and move on. while in one sense that is a very good thing, on the other i feel that they just dont have a sense of seriousness or value for anything. i wonder if i am right in trying to make them develop one :)
d

LG said... Best Blogger Tips

Life teaches us valuable lessons all the time. We don't always take it.

BTW, the feeling of secret delight? I am unable to relate to it. When I face a loss, I am either devastated or indifferent, depending on my philosophy of the moment (and the value of the loss). But delight?

Tharini said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks Sumana. I love reading your comments. That minute after losing it was all about calming down my mom and sis who were there when it happened. They seemed so much in shock, that it became imperative to make sure they were okay. I guess now is when it hurts me more, when I think fondly of each and every piece I had in there. Still, things happen for a cause of which we know nothing about. That much is certain.

Sneha : That sounds interesting. I will be sure to look this book up. And I do resonate with that idea very much.

d : I am also like that sometimes, but only because I don't want to get too swept away in the sense of loss, else it may get too much for me. But can you make anyone do anything they don't genuinely feel from inside?

Tharini said... Best Blogger Tips

@LG
Yes, delight is the word, and I used it with full awareness. But it is very hard to explain. Let me try again. WHen what happened, happened, I felt instantly, that this is one of those REAL moments, where you are not just going with the daily drift of like, but keenly feeling it, and living it. So when that awareness came in, I was ready for the challenge, to rise up to that situation without losing my cool or my sense of awareness, that this was my test. The delight came from not getting carried away in the current of shock and emotion, but instead and instantly feeling that awareness and my own willingness to play the game of grace, calm and a certain equanimity. I felt like I had a moment of victory where I could hold myself together, when the situation called for it.

Hope you understand now. If not, its just one of those things where you have to be in a certain person's skin to feel it.

A day in the life of a MOM said... Best Blogger Tips

Whenever I lose something materialistically precious I remind myself it is something that money can buy and to think about people who lose their loved ones for whom there is no replacement..Nice post, enjoyed reading it.

Altoid said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi T - this question is for Sneha. I see two books, 'The Laws of Spirit' by Dan Millman and 'The Laws of The Spirit World' by Khorshed Bhavnagari. Which one were you referring to? Thanks :-)

LG said... Best Blogger Tips

@Tharini
I have never played the game of grace and equanimity. I am forever boiling over, so I guess I have a long way to go.
But I'll remember this post for sure. Maybe remembering it may help me achieve it.

Revs said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks for sharing this :) With the way life has been the past week for me, I think I just HAD to read something like this :)

Sneha said... Best Blogger Tips

@ Altoid "Laws of The Spirit World" by Khorshed Bhavnagri

Vidhi said... Best Blogger Tips

great post! and so true!

Gymnast said... Best Blogger Tips

Err...i think the only thing you should learn from this whole incident is to be little more cautious and keep things safe..

If the whole point was to get over the "ego" of possession , i think your strategy was wrong. If you're TRYING to remain calm thinking that you're facing a challenge - you're just masking one ego with another. You're piling on the ego of NEEDING to win a challenge.

I feel that you're not allowing the natural course of events to take place because at some level you KNOW you should not be affected by loss of material things. Loss = grief. It is the experience of this grief which gives some kind of a stable state...

I know i am far younger to you and much more naive. But this was my thought after reading the post..

Tharini said... Best Blogger Tips

Gymnast....very very true. Ego creeps in everywhere, even when you think you are having a pure moment experience. Makes it all that more rarer to experience a moment that purely. Thanks for the lovely insight!

Naresh said... Best Blogger Tips

Nice Blog.
I remember my old days :)

Quality Time
Thanks

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